


why/we/ever

by sparrellow (orphan_account)



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Angst, Figurative Language, Friendship, Gen, Hurt, Kagamine Len and Rin Are Not Related, Loneliness, One Shot, One-Sided Relationship, Quadruple Drabble, Sad, Short One Shot, Unhappy Ending, they never were
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28029390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sparrellow
Summary: there's a distance, and you're all alone.
Relationships: Kagamine Len & Kagamine Rin
Kudos: 7





	why/we/ever

**Author's Note:**

> old drabble-ish thing I wrote several months back. writing is hard. I'm tired. relationships are beyond my mental comprehension and I will never be a functional person. here are my Feelings.

Len had always been adored. In all their years as friends, he was the more popular of the two, although he’d never admit it.

They were starkly different in a way that drove a knife through Rin’s chest. They were like chalk and cheese. It was a painful reminder that she was no one. (Even to him.)

Sometimes, they spent their weekends together, lounging around on the floor of her apartment. Len would always be busy on his phone, checking his messages, talking to more important people than her.

She was bothered by it, of course, but she could never say a thing about it. She hated confrontation, she hated conflict. But it had been eating up inside her for years, and it wasn’t a feeling she could just shove under a rug.

And yet, she didn’t want to lose her dearest friend, either.

“Who are you talking to?” Rin settled herself down into the sofa beside him, folding her knees up to her chest.

Len didn’t look away from his phone, fingers sliding across the screen rapid fire. “Oh, just some friends.”

She stared at his profile, fingers wrapping around her ankles. “Friends more important than me?” She couldn’t help but say it, let the words slip out. But she forced a smile like it was something playful, and swallowed glass, letting it slice through her inner organs.

He finally tore his gaze away to look at her, his lips twisting into the ghost of a smile. “Course not,” he said. “You’re always the most important, Rin.”

His words were like warm honey. They were warm hands over a cold heart. But she’d heard it all before.  _ If I’m that important to you, _ she wanted to say,  _ then  _ show _ it. _ But the words died on her tongue, knowing better not to stir the pot.

She couldn’t afford to lose him. It would unravel her completely and leave her broken and miserable and  _ alone _ .

Instead, Rin mustered up her best poker face, even if it wavered. “You are, too,” she said, her voice a dying whimper.

Len gazed at her a moment more, and just for a split second, it was like he knew. He knew the words she never said, he knew the loaded meaning behind her questions. And perhaps he really did; he was intuitive like that. But even if he did know, he didn’t push. He didn’t pry. He left the wound open and airing, to ooze and fester, before dragging his eyes back down to his phone.

She couldn’t bring herself to hate him. Was he really a bad person? Perhaps it was her demanding too much, and yeah, it was probably her, it always was. She was jealous and she wanted him all to herself, but he was  _ everyone’s _ , he was a luminous star and she was the dark night sky. 

Really, all she wanted was to feel more permanent in his life than he did in hers.


End file.
